Mr. Pants works as a graphic designer doing print design, and wrote this wonderfully snarky how to list yesterday and posted it on his site , and I just had to share it.
7 steps to creating your own business cards
Step 1: Go to your company's website, and right click on your company's logo, save it to your desktop. If your company does not have a website, do a google search for a logo that you like, and save that one to your desktop.
Step 2: Open a new MS Word document. Insert that logo that you saved from the internet in to that blank document.
Step 3: Type in all the info you want on the card into that Word document using at least 3 different fonts, one of which MUST be Comic Sans.
Step 4: Save the Word document and email to your favourite printer, and ask for them to be printed on parchment paper, as its very pretty.
Step 5: Argue with your printer when they call that it prints out fine on the inkjet printer that is on your desk, and act very confused when they try and explain the difference between RGB and CMYK printing. If they do not call skip this step and go straight to Step 6.
Step 6: When/if you receive your business cards from the printer, call them to complain that the logo is all blurry and the quality is horrible. Act very confused when they try and explain the difference between screen resolution and minimum print resolution.
Step 7: Complain to your friends and colleagues about how bad the printer was to work with and how horrible your business cards came out.